Splendid to be writing again, if I don’t say so myself. I’m feeling better since I’m living with spirituality (something I’ve been missing for many years now), notably the greater form of Christianity. The first song which came to mind this morning: “I’ve got that joy, joy, joy, joy – down in my heart.” Not actually as such but I am feeling a little more elated than usual, and not particularly concerned of the song choice ~ as I’m almost always (at least at home/or usually) singing something outrageous first thing in the morning – or after I wake up.
It seems that I’m writing for myself for a change – which is nice practice in the way of writing beyond my stubborn writer’s block: That unsavoury length of peace which ensued uponlosing my many hours of writing efforts & my most original writings too – those things of my first real effort at being a writer taken away from me in such a dreadful manner so as to refuse me another look for my beneficial glance into my technique failures. I suppose this text will have to suffice.
Of being a sir, there is less to admit than being English. The point in passing being that I’m considered a gentleman & a squire ~ perhaps requiring more reading but also allowances for writing are in order. For example, how am I meant to disembark upon my rational regarding my previous soul searching in contemporary spirituality – for in one sense I am bastardised throughout my views while in another wish to shun those views which are misaligned to my one best choice in loving the Lord with all my heart, all my might, all my mind, and all my soul & loving my neighbour with my intention of how I wish to be loved – loving “him” as I love myself. Automatic writing as such be disgraceful & yet I don’t wish to achieve such perfect states of being as I’d stressed on in my pursuit of witchcraft.
I will consider my Reiki as the identity of a starting point for/of hands on healing. Perhaps the art being to sense first that which I am to share myself prior to giving – for a major concern of mine is that I’m guilty of trying to befriend all those who I meet & by being friends with all, I’m respectfully falling short of being loved by God.
Mhy lord, do I set others so highly without their need to prove or repectfully deserve such elated status? I need to guard against giving strangers such satisfactoin in that I do not consider a friendly persona immediately satisfactory in my desire to attain their friendship. This is my major weakness as a Christian at the moment. Who ought I not love?! My mother needs to be honoured as does my father. I feel less inclined to love either for their reluctance to be good parents. My mother for or due to her illness of pre natal depression & general uncaring nature & my father who left me as a young toddler, and later in life found much little else than criticiism and condemnation to offer me as his son. My love for them is couped up somewhere behind my solid exterior but I’m afaid of opening my softer emotions to either of them – really to anyone – for the risk involved of being hurt on my private-inner self; my world could be torn assunder.
So in choosing one religious mainstay I guess I’ve amply accepted Christ as my Lord and saviour. To be Christian is a great idea in comparison to being maniacly bent over the cinder block of all other religions. And Jesus and I have need to do some catching up.
Could still write fiction of/in horror-psychological thriller – thriller genre’s! My past experiences still being a part of my present self ~ ghost writing still an option, and love of life something I never wish to cease appreciation of. Satanism is still alive in this one & I suppose a part of a balance I wish to maintain – the eternal struggle between faith & disbelief is very real; The nonexistant vs. the real, the actual.
Satan is hiding in the unspoken rules of my spirit, ever prevalent in my worldly interactoins and yet a simple spark in my desires of individuality and freedom. Were it not for my strong will & stubborness of spirit, I wouldn’t be as keen in my intellect my personality, my character, my sould. I love life and all that it offers, including Jesus & what many enlightened view as hheld in principle behind the image which is Satanism. I hold all life in a sacred manner but in so doing fall out of favour with God. This is my lesson.
How to share the gospel while accommodation objectively satanic belief or idealism ~ perhaps I’m merely stressing the loving power of Christ and showing some adoration to the present day liberal Christian. There isn’t really love in satanism mostly intelligence based/basal knowledge while it’s said God is love. So is it to worship love ~ the greatest force on Earth & to revere the intellect, the fruit of knowledge – a greater than one’s self in sort of an aspiring or inspired approach to bettering one’s self in this age of enlightenment we have in our social-political-or sociological geographic land mark or mile-stone we’ve baseing our current tenacities to rest!?
Philosophy falls shorter in modernity than where she were say 100 years ago. I suppose this happened as psychology and science gegan to merge and a subtle (and eventually dramatic) separation of reigiosity from brain/mind function & character of morality in and yet separately of religious belief no longer fervent in respect or relation to one another. Aye, this is the truth.
And so I’m decidedly ascribing to Judeo-Christian philosophy or principle on the basis of socioeconomic strucuralism. Then it’s my understanding that Jesus is an acceptable model of modern principled derision for conducting moral standard(s). Henceforth, I’m also able to respect other belief systems due to my liberal views & all teh while am still repectfully owning my past jucture with the many varied views from around the world ~ it will be on such a basis that I found my next sstory. Perhaps sooner rather than later.
I suppose this entire “writings” I’ve been working at constitute the very works I’m thinking of writing on ~ An exploration of my spirituality & with a view toward an overall acceptance of Jesus & His Love in My Life & my Soul. Counter intuitive title I’ve decided upon but none the less a good one, I believe. For all other faiths be their a force with consciousness or beings resembling a state of ideal or blessed structure not all (and I’m understating greatly) should be viewed as disproportionate to morally correct in teh multi-culture which is Australian life these days. My first object of reconciliation is between Jesus and the Jedi religion I’m adapted to ascribe myself unto.
Allow me to take an esoteric venture away from the Christian and atheistic conceptualisations of Satanism for a discention on or embarkation for or of new age spirituality & reflective beliefs of religious bereft on times and places afar. Two names I have adopted myself ~ the god of thunder, Thor of the Norse gods & upon decsendancy of Odin and Viking Runes & the name of Shax, a Satanic demon who sides with the friends by a way of attacking the enemies of this friends in the way of vision. Both are/have nobility in my view & neither are exclusive. My view of many old Gods assumed demonic traits through the eyes of Christians by the lack of Christian morality in and of the Western idealism that has evolved the ellaborate cultre of sondideratoin & intrinsic wealth of charity and good-will. Wherefore are the soldiers who are not suicidal and yet hold dear the virtues of Jesus & His name upon teh political balance between liberalism and conservatism? And without all others being equal while maintaining God’s love for all while not forbidding others their love where God would refuse to love them who do? It is a rich tapestry indeed, to adhere and more than (perhaps) is possible to outline logically alone.
Wicca is an eventualtion predating Christianity & why ought I be one to deny the forebaring fruits of reigiosity when there are apparently more feelings for myself in those than within modern Christan views? My love tempted by both abstractions & yet the broader conceptualisations of Wicca (or more commonly associated ‘Witchcraft’), and the amalgamation of my assimilating to/with the many and varied beliefs of all peoples across all time?! ought I not love them all?
The logical dichotomy of sexuality is somewhat comparable to a dichotomy of religious belief — at least from a Christian perspective. But all the same I think a free mind is the willing participants’ guide on the matter of accepting or rejecting ideals preseted them on or within any such view, belief or ideology.
My concept as shared by many others is of a God who is willing to find an honestly moral man/person satisfactory in all ways who behaves in accordance with said morality & still believes a God & he could be bonded regardless of whether that man holds God’s existence as an unknown or even possibly held notions of unlikelihood through outrageously unlikely. Couldn’t that bond unite them after death!? The force is intelligent.
For how else can the balances of good and evil work thier balancing acts without the notion of standard deviation? Is that in itself how mathematics courrespons to life’s marvellous workings its own act of tieing up loose ends . . . Are evil & good even balancing forces. I mean afterall good & evil are experienced subjectively & are therefore based on subjective opinion, are they not!? Life and its marvels.
“May the force be with you.” Now, eat, drink and enjoy yourself; You are what you wish to become, as “do or do not – there is no try.” I am the Earth. I am the Sun. “I drink of my sisters and I take into my self – all the power of Manoh.” And here I draw the line at: As above, so below. So let it be.
Now I’m leaning towards my lack of comprehension that of being a Christian who may be able to practice the rituals or art & actions based on other religions or whether I’m trully a Satanist. Could I become a Le Yeyan Satanist or do I prefer traditional values of Satan as an entity, a being simply as the symbolic non-entity/being of general disbelief. I think disbelief is my greater knowledges’ insight more keenly/readily accepts.
To accept atheism as my mainstay, I therefore must relinquish my beliefs in teh religions of olde’, ought I not? Buddhism isn’t generally regarded as a religion although I can’t accept reincarnation of the self as factually plausible, so therefore can’t hold it as a truth-based religion (as such). Satanism is something of a deep – seated, multipurposed type of belief base in which the practitioner is encouraged to learn and grow from. There are values/merits to such a system and plyable to hold on to as either sex. Satan seen as many to be female in many cases & otherwise acceptable view considering the more widespread view that Satan is a deciever. I’m feeling erotic about a deceptive woan who has such a powerful position in modern day religion. But what about a Satanism which isn’t religious & has only an which adherents attempt to nullify or negate through their works or accomplishments in the world?
I could view myself as jedi, satanist, and catholic. I could be very wrong about the belief that I could adhere to all three of these religions simultaneously. Therefor, the question remains as to which faith I can claim to be my own, or whether I even need a religion to ascribe myself to. I think not. I believe I can get through life as an atheist. While reserving my doubts for a male, female or positive and negative force or forces governing all of existance or otherwis existing alongside it.
I think I find Christianity restrictive in that ill-will or hatred isn’t condoned nor is it acceptable to want that which another has. Maybe there is a void of in-between-the-lines which I’m missing but otherwise aren’t comprehending. In terms of magick – there are opposing forces (in kind regard of a Christian outlook/perspective) which can be drawn upon at the practisions [sic] discretion all while still subject to karmic forces so the governing power still hold true to otherwise reigns supreme in either instance. Ought I feel compelled to take up practicing witchcraft again or not?! Ought I consider myself assended to the status of a warlock even? Where does a mage belong in Satanity? Is such a remark an example of my ignorance of/in that practicioners or adherents are mainly referred to warlocks, witches, priests or priestesses, even. Therefore am I merely possessed by the demon Shax and seeking the ear or the word by seeking Thor or his guidance. I can only imagine. Perhaps that is my true basis.
Jesus was a moran man, and therefore I ought to respect him. I guess I should like to consider the adage of “beware of the man of one book” in appreciation henceforth: “beware of the person of man.”