I’m really interested in taking up the writing and editing course at TAFE next year but I’m equally interested in moving north to a warmer climate and more personal freedom. I’m not sure which to do. If I stay, I might need to move closer to TAFE so either way it looks as though I’ll be moving at around the same time (as my lease ends around the time the course begins). I could renew the lease, of course, but then I would be obligated to travel to and from TAFE most days, and of course, committed to life in a colder environment – but it might be worth travelling for class attendance as my location is pretty good at the moment. I suppose I’ll just keep readdressing this issue until I come to an emotional conclusion.
They say writing is a very personal experience, that a writer should write for themselves first. Stephen King says, in his novel ‘On Writing’ that having the belief of a loved one as a constant source of support helps a lot, because writing is a very lonely occupation. So how would a person, namely myself, reconcile an adverse belief from their most cherished, only parent? Where would such a grown up writer to be find consolance of confidence if not from within their very own being?
I’m at this juncture now. I feel as though my writing is worthless, my thoughts never needing be printed due to my own lack of originality, or inspiration, a general sense of worthlessness, all stemming from my Mother’s careless approach with my writing, my anything, really, which has partially crippled me in that I’m unable to trust myself to write whatever I’d like to, to feel free to act on my own accord is another crippling disadvantage my Mother has left me with and this stems mainly through her controlling and domineering and abusive parenting style.
Writing for myself is a lot like writing to myself. So in a way, while I’m writing a story I’m actually telling myself that story. Then I have to edit out everything which is irrelevant to the story so during this stage I’m cutting out what doesn’t seem right to another person reading it. Then I’m going to look at it from another person’s perspective so I’m literally shaping a part of myself for someone else’s senses – which I suppose is okay seeing how I’m only removing what I didn’t need/want to say anyhow, and that I’m free to leave any of that which ought to be cut out. I suppose it depends on what sacrifices or concessions I’m willing to make on the story I’m telling as to whether I should leave irrelevant parts of myself in the story which add nothing and which do not progress the story at all.
I recently discovered that I simply don’t have the motivation to pursue my goals via 3 years of studying writing and publishing. The goal being the qualification and the accompanying knowledge base (however warped that might be through exposure to such a controlled environment as the education system), for the purposes of becoming an accomplished writer.
My main consideration is that a simple one year diploma in writing and ‘editing’ would suffice in the face of publishing textperts and the market would play an even greater role than they, in terms of what content, genre, etc is considered interesting enough to consider. I honestly strictly wanted to study English at uni. Both for the benefits it would have on my written work, and for my personal interest in English as a language subject.
I simply wasn’t having much fun pushing myself through material which – although educational – is also indoctrinating. It occurred to me that there would be a great span of time writing out the issues raised in uni, and I knew then, as I still believe, those ideas don’t appeal to me enough to apply my writing time toward. I certainly don’t wish to favour them but demons always have a way of escaping through writing, and I would have been plagued.
Regardless of whether I pursue writing and editing next year I’m still going to improve my grammar (if writing doesn’t end up on the back-burner; then, if I don’t pursue writing with such desire, the BA in writing and publishing wouldn’t have any real benefit). Also, this allows me to be truly creative as I can apply myself however I see fit. I estimated a three year writing project of greater value, as a writer, than a three year stint to appear a better one.
I suppose my goal should be to complete a book of my own. There is still a part of my interest being drawn in by the prospect of studying at uni. I just don’t know what that might end up being. I’m unable to reach any uni campus on a daily basis, nor have I found a course in particular which is offered online I’m interested enough to dedicate such a large part of my life to complete. I feel I’m at a loss for direction, because my goals are spread across several disciplines.
I think first and foremost, young Australians’ are very lazy compared to previous generations of young Australians. I think this is very much to do with the invention of the television, and later the development, and extreme investment in entertainment through this media. Movies, music, and video games are predominantly Australian young peoples’ favourite past time today. Some young people who grew up with such a lavish life style are now middle aged adults who are still spending the better part of their days playing video games, or engaging with movies, or music. This seems like a waste of Australian spirit when I think about past generations and all they worked so hard for. I believe that if such a grown up lived in harder times he would be ridiculed to say the least.
I wonder how society would have developed without the invention of the television and by extension the internet . . .
I suppose machinery would still have taken a place in our work force, and I suppose vehicle running energies would have been delved into more deeply. I can imagine a large percentage of the population working hard at more and more efficient fuel supplies, and renewable energy being the frontier of scientific advancement. Then again, would we have the capacity to think of such technological advances without having the television (as I’m sure the television has led us a certain way in means of thinking). Teleportation, for instance: would we be closer, or further away?
I think in some ways the intervention of the internet on Australian Youth has at once created go getters, and lazy bodies. I think the way young people envisage work has changed since earlier days where technologies which we take for granted were still out of reach. This makes me question when we began searching toward creating the internet, or television for that matter, and what changes that has effected in the way of how we function, and how we view normal functioning today.
I’d been thinking about studying something for several years on and off. I took a creative writing course but having done it before, and because of the lack of insight in the content, I quit. I had more fun the first time around, because the course included grammar, and usage, and punctuation. This course offers two units which include grammar as a component. I just hope that I’m learning what I want to learn (as a writer), because my initial motivation for learning this time was to study English.
Although studying English would help me with my writing, this course is specifically tailored to writing, and the publishing processes. Writing and Publishing. Professional writing is somewhat different to creative writing, and it seems this course is designed for creative writing of non-fiction subjects. That’s a little bit of a bummer for me, as I would like to write fiction at the moment. Maybe my interests will change later on. None the less, it’s well known that journalism (which I’m not doing) helps with short story writing, so maybe there are similarities in creative professional writing to creative writing, and so forth.
None of these are a reason for me starting at Uni. No, it was a friends suggestion that I wasn’t doing anything with my life which motivated me to investigate courses at OUA. I was (once again) disappointed there weren’t any English specific courses, as I’d realised that I love English as a subject. I suppose that would have to include media, which I’m not very fond of. And so this brings me to the first course I enrolled into at OUA, BA Communications with majors in creative, and professional writing, and in journalism. I just signed up over the phone without knowing there were options closer to what I was looking for, on the suggestion/advice of the caller from OUA. It was later that I realised there would be a whole lot of media involved, and that I wouldn’t really like to be a journalist, that I decided to have another look through the available courses, and opted to change into writing and publishing.
My friend’s insistence on my doing something with myself forced me to consider possibilities for my future, and how/what I did with my present to affect changes to that future. Her words made me look back as well, to a time where things weren’t much different to how they are now, and realising that I hadn’t done anything with my life for some time, I realized that I needed to do something with my life, and it needed to be something I could be happy with. So I pursued my writing interests with a course in university. I thanked my friend who insists she didn’t do anything but I know her influence over me helped me make a start where I wouldn’t have for a long time. I had been procrastinating over it thinking ‘I’ll do it once I’ve saved some money’, or, ‘after I quit smoking. Then I’ll have money for the text books.’
I’ve written several things in my time, and have enjoyed writing throughout my life. Recently I lost everything I had saved on storage devices through a theft. This made it difficult to continue writing, because essentially I’d be starting all over again but I recently discovered a photocopied short story I’d had amongst the writing that was stolen, and did a little editing to it, then published it on wordpress, a blogging website. I’m not happy with the final product yet, but I feel elated that I have something I’d written from a time I was getting into writing fiction. I would like to pursue writing further, and believe this course will provide me with necessary credentials to get published. I suppose writer’s works are often published on their knowledge, experience, or credentials, and having a degree in writing and publishing would only help me become an author.
Becoming an author isn’t my main goal, however. My main goal is to improve my knowledge, and understanding of the use of English. If writing is my interest then I’m certainly interested in improving my abilities in writing, and so I’m interested in taking this course in writing and publishing. Publishing also interests me, to a lesser extent. I’ve researched self publishing for ebook, and paperback/hard cover, and have considered a job in publishing, or editing in the past, thinking it would suit me. Unfortunately, I doubt this course has much of a focus on editing. If it does, I will be very pleased, as I need to improve in this area, and editing is a necessity in all professional writing.
So I’ve just reacquired my old copy of Microsoft Office Ultimate from a man I gave this copy to. I originally thought that this purchased disc of two discs was a backup copy, and years later, I found that it wasn’t. I had a copy of an expansion of some sort. I was fortunate to still have the man’s number, and that not only did he live at the same house, he also reproduced the cd for me. Luckily for me, he returned it, as I need Word and possibly Power Point in the course of my studies.
I’ve just begun the course of Champix quit smoking medication. It’s the end of day two on Champix once per day half doses. At around the third day of full doses twice per day, I’ll be able to stop smoking entirely, and this miracle drug will prevent serious withdrawal symptoms from the lack of nicotine in my system. Champix works by blocking the nicotine receptors in the brain. It does cause me insomnia and vivid dreams, and nightmares though.
I’m going to put as many of these nightmares, and even dreams to good use. I’ve decided to keep my computer running in sleep mode when I go to bed for the next twelve, to twenty four weeks of Champix use, in order to write everything down that’s still in my mind after dreaming it. I’m a writer see, and as a writer who would like to write horror fiction, this is a perfect opportunity to collect ideas, scenes, etc from scary experiences I have in nightmares, or dreams.
I’ve been drinking coffee all day, and done little of what I wanted to. I did however do some yard work that needed to be done, and a little cleaning in my bathroom, so I haven’t been unproductive entirely. There was some reading to do which doesn’t look viable tonight (as my reading chair, and lamp aren’t situated in a practical place since rearranging the lounge room for a house inspection), and a text book I downloaded has about 12 hours remaining to be read (as I borrowed it from an online library, and that’s when it expires), so I’d like to find some time for it later tonight.