I recently discovered that I simply don’t have the motivation to pursue my goals via 3 years of studying writing and publishing. The goal being the qualification and the accompanying knowledge base (however warped that might be through exposure to such a controlled environment as the education system), for the purposes of becoming an accomplished writer.
My main consideration is that a simple one year diploma in writing and ‘editing’ would suffice in the face of publishing textperts and the market would play an even greater role than they, in terms of what content, genre, etc is considered interesting enough to consider. I honestly strictly wanted to study English at uni. Both for the benefits it would have on my written work, and for my personal interest in English as a language subject.
I simply wasn’t having much fun pushing myself through material which – although educational – is also indoctrinating. It occurred to me that there would be a great span of time writing out the issues raised in uni, and I knew then, as I still believe, those ideas don’t appeal to me enough to apply my writing time toward. I certainly don’t wish to favour them but demons always have a way of escaping through writing, and I would have been plagued.
Regardless of whether I pursue writing and editing next year I’m still going to improve my grammar (if writing doesn’t end up on the back-burner; then, if I don’t pursue writing with such desire, the BA in writing and publishing wouldn’t have any real benefit). Also, this allows me to be truly creative as I can apply myself however I see fit. I estimated a three year writing project of greater value, as a writer, than a three year stint to appear a better one.
I suppose my goal should be to complete a book of my own. There is still a part of my interest being drawn in by the prospect of studying at uni. I just don’t know what that might end up being. I’m unable to reach any uni campus on a daily basis, nor have I found a course in particular which is offered online I’m interested enough to dedicate such a large part of my life to complete. I feel I’m at a loss for direction, because my goals are spread across several disciplines.